To really know another....

As human beings we want people to really know us, and like what they see.  We were made to be in relationship with others, not to be hermits hiding away from contact with others. 

I believe this fiercely, though through the years I have been challenged on this view. 

First and foremost, that men and women cannot just be friends. That there always has to have a sexual side to the relationship.  Let me say from the outset that I have many friends that are platonic friends, there is nothing more and we have shared many joys and tears with each other through the years. 

How often do we panic about others getting to know us?  I have described it like peeling an onion, one layer at a time.  Our fear is that a layer of ourselves will be exposed that is too much, that we will be rejected, laughed at and hurt.  So instead we fiercly protect our layers and let very few into who we really are.

We have all had that experience, or at least I have.  You meet a new person and you start learning about other, you feel that uncomfortable opening up a little more than you are really happy to do, and suddenly the other person is talking to someone else, the next ‘bright shiny’ and you are left feeling exposed, naked and unsure of what just happened.

None of us are perfect; some are just very good at hiding the bumps, warts and scarred bits. Sometimes with bravado sometimes with humour but always hiding parts we are sure will never be accepted.  I have yet to meet a person that hasn’t been hurt, damaged or worse, by life.  What we really want is to show those parts of ourselves, we find embarrassing and ugly and find acceptance, true acceptance that says “I can see you and its OK, I will not turn away.”

I read something today as I pondered this post today about someone receiving a rejection email that has inspired me today:

Out of this disheartening situation, here's what I did: I chose to bless the decision-makers of the organization with positive words, and I wished all those other speakers who they had selected a brilliant future. And I encourage you to do the same: Whoever has rejected you this year or in times past, bless them and wish them the best. Send positive vibes their way. You don't need the negative energy you'd otherwise incur, and there is simply too much work to do now.

So now, to those that have not liked what they have seen in me or found me wanting, I smile and wish them well and move on.  It is true; there is too much fun and enjoyment to be found in life to be caught up with negative thoughts. They will zap me of my emotional strength and cause me to doubt myself instead of embracing who I am and what I can become.

Thank you.....