Today I said goodbye to my best friend at work.
What hadn't occurred to me before was that I had been the person leaving so many times myself, I was not the person staying.
I had watched her progress to this day for the last 4 years. Read her assignments, encouraged and made her laugh when she felt the load was to much to bear.
Today was her time to stand in the spotlight, as much as she hates that spot, she shone brightly and I was proud to call her friend.
So now I have have this bone weary sadness that makes me sigh.
Change is the only constant in life. Things will change tomorrow and we can never sure if it is for the better or worse, only that things tomorrow never be quite the same again.
I will go and ride my bike and hope to leech some of this sadness from my soul.
Tomorrow is a new day, new and full of promise!
Monday, January 28, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Damn I was THAT type of person
When does being a good friend and helping a friend turn into being a pest that someone can't get rid of?
I believe this is a slippery slope, both for the helper and the one receiving the help. The person in need talks about their problem incessantly, they can't help it, it is a consuming problem and they are worried or anxious about it and its solution. The helper wants to be there for the person, show support, listen and show that someone cares.
I have been trying to be the helper, but today, to my horror, I realised that I was being a pest. On reviewing the conversation I could see the person was hardly responding, it was all me talking and they made an excuse when they couldn't get rid of me to leave.
Shame washes over me now, if I was a true friend I would give them the space they needed and be there when they wanted someone to talk to. I wonder too if by going too far I have totally ruined the friendship and they will never want to talk about things that are troubling them again.
Now I will do the hardest thing, I will wait, not initiating contact at all but wait for them to seek me out.
Let's hope I learn from this experience and next time I have a friend in need I don't become a pest but I be a friend they need not a friend that inflicts themselves on poor unsuspecting souls.
I believe this is a slippery slope, both for the helper and the one receiving the help. The person in need talks about their problem incessantly, they can't help it, it is a consuming problem and they are worried or anxious about it and its solution. The helper wants to be there for the person, show support, listen and show that someone cares.
I have been trying to be the helper, but today, to my horror, I realised that I was being a pest. On reviewing the conversation I could see the person was hardly responding, it was all me talking and they made an excuse when they couldn't get rid of me to leave.
Shame washes over me now, if I was a true friend I would give them the space they needed and be there when they wanted someone to talk to. I wonder too if by going too far I have totally ruined the friendship and they will never want to talk about things that are troubling them again.
Now I will do the hardest thing, I will wait, not initiating contact at all but wait for them to seek me out.
Let's hope I learn from this experience and next time I have a friend in need I don't become a pest but I be a friend they need not a friend that inflicts themselves on poor unsuspecting souls.
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